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       "Voices Along the Way" is aptly named.
I can't explain where the thoughts come from 
or who they were written for -- everyone, anyone, no one
...they are thoughts, nothing more, nothing less.  
Offered in random order from the voices along the way.      
                                                                                                                 E. Sam Parker
 
Lessons
The Painting
When Colors Fade
Pages 
Scars That Won't Heal
A Little Space, A Little Time
Distance
Hole In My Heart
Another Place, Another Time
Up Around The Bend
Do You Think of Me
Sister
You Take Me There
Unsaid
Its Been Good
In the Dark of Night
Special Moment
Thoughts of You
Like It Was Yesterday
On The Right Track
In The Dark 
Her Hand  
Window Pain
WishIwas
The Man Within
Third Cup of Coffee
Remembering
Blink, Blink, Gone
Dreams and Recollections
Domestic Bliss
Furniture
Every Time (You Come To Mind)
Somewhere Down the Road
Not Sure I'd want to Try
Lady In The Corner
I Haven't Got There Yet
A Cold Caress
What Then
Sorry
Direction
Dad 
Different  
Men  
Turns  NEW!
I'm Not The Man
Ink Spots
Bullet On The Table
Click
Coffee Cup
Dirty Old Man
Secrets
The Man Down The Hall
You
If You Only Knew Me
Shades of Gray
Let It Go
My Mind
Hands of Time
Solitude
Every Now And Then
Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda Been
Prisoner of Love
Back of the Bus  
My Sun  
She Opened The Door  
Trying   NEW!

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LESSONS
       E. Sam Parker

I’m thankful for the life I’ve known
The fact I’ve learned and hopefully grown
I hope somehow that I have shown
That your lessons weren’t all wasted
We’d disagree from time to time
You had your way, I wanted mine
Easily lost, but easy to find
Thankful now, you kept me close
You kept me close, yet, you let me run
Experienced mischief and childish fun
Never really hurting anyone
Another lesson learned
I learned a lot, enough to know
There’s so much more I’ll never know
But then I guess that’s how we grow
Yet another lesson learned
Now fully grown and on my own
Most wild oats, long since sewn
Learning more than I have shown
Another lesson learned
A teacher who never really taught
A wise man whose wisdom was seldom sought
A rainbow chaser who never caught, the dream you were chasing
I too chase dreams and that’s okay
I wouldn’t want it any other way
When asked where I’m going, with pride I say
I’m following my Father’s footsteps
I’ll follow you with love and pride
And lessons learned will be my guide
Though now you’re gone, you’re still inside
My heart, my mind, my soul
 
 In Memory of my Father,
E.S. “Ted” Parker

 

 
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    The Painting
                             E. Sam Parker

We painted you with Honesty
and a true sense of Caring
We painted you with Love
and an Openness for Sharing
We painted you with many colors
and a special sense of Pride
We painted you with Strength
and still a Tender side
You truly are a Work of art
An Original by Design
You took the brush and added Heart
a Quick Wit an Open Mind
Though the paint’s not dried
know that we tried
and we’ll still add a touch or two
but we never dreamt we could paint
a Masterpiece like you

dedicated to Tina Louise Parker
 
 
 
 
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When Colors Fade
                   E. Sam Parker3
When the color fades to shades of gray
Do the feelings fade in the same way
Does the mind condone the right to stray
When colors fade
 
Do you see the truth through different eyes
Do you accept the use of small white lies
Does truth become more compromise
When colors fade
 
When passion’s red begins fade
Do you regret the choices that you’ve made
Do you raise the bet on cards you’ve played
Or shuffle and redeal
 
Colors fade to black and white
Disguising wrong, disguising right
We mix regret with pure delight
When colors fade…when colors fade
 
Conviction becomes preferred choice
Commitment hears a different voice
Colors blend and start to fade
As we justify the choices made
 
When colors fade
 
 
 
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PAGES
E. Sam Parker3

 She sits alone and ponders
Her thoughts reflecting years gone by
Recalling choices she has made
Though now, not quite sure why
 
Her dreams and her priorities
Rearranged—but then, that’s life
Now she’s a loving Mother
Now, a devoted wife
 
A devoted wife, no question
Yet questions fill her mind
Daydreams and fantasy
Help her pass the time
 
She loves her life and her children
Loves her husband too
But, if she could do it all again
Sometimes wonders what she’d do
 
Second-guessing, not confessing
Thoughts that sometimes fill her mind
Wondering what she'd do
If she could turn back the hands of time
 
If she could rewrite her life’s story
What tales would she pen
Would she change it all, or just recall
And do it all again
 
The grass isn’t always greener
Just another shade of green
Still we crave the mystery
Of the pages never seen
 
We all ponder the pages
Of the stories only dreamed
 
 
 
 
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Scars That Won’t Heal
                              E. Sam Parker
I keep looking in the mirror…hoping someday not to see
The reflection of this man…looking back at me
I try to hide the hurt…try to hide the way I feel
Some hurt is forever…and some scars never heal
 
I’ve tried my very best to hide…the emptiness I’ve felt
And I must confess…I’ve done my best…to play the hand I was dealt
I can hide the tears….so many tears…but the pain is oh so real…
Some hurt is forever…and some scars never heal

* Some hurt is forever…and some scars never heal
You try to hide… the pain inside…try to hide the way you feel
Too many tears…too many years….the feeling all too real
Some hurt is forever…and some scars never heal
 
It feels like only yesterday….though it’s been a long, long time
A child worshiping his hero…and you dear dad were mine
I looked up to you…and I still do…in my heart…in my mind
It feels like only yesterday….though it’s been a long, long time
 
When did the world change…why did we part ways
The fact and the fiction…blend with each passing day
As the year’s rolled by, we both tried…to bandage and conceal, but
Some hurt is forever…and some scars never heal
 
* Some hurt is forever…and some scars never heal
You try to hide… the pain inside…try to hide the way you feel
Too many tears…too many years….the feeling all too real
Some hurt is forever…and some scars never heal
 
Now you’re gone…and I’ve moved on…at least I’m trying to
But truth be known…when I’m alone…thoughts often turn to you
I wanted just to tell you …exactly how I feel, but
Some hurt is forever……..and some scars never heal…yes,
Some hurt is forever…and some scars …never heal
 
 
 
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A Little Space, A Little Time
                                                 E. Sam Parker
 
Sometimes all I want…is just left alone
Don’t want to see any-one...
Don’t want to talk on the phone
Per-fect-ly content...to be on my own
I just want..is a little space…a little time
 
Don’t ask me to explain it…I’m not sure I can
…sometimes I just need some space…I hope you understand
On my own…some time alone…it’s just the way I am
I just need a little space…a little time
 
* Just a little space…just a little time
To look inside my heart…to look inside my mind
I need to take a look…to keep from going blind
all I need’s a little space….a little time
 
Don’t think that I don’t love you…God knows, indeed, I do
but every now and then…I need time alone, it’s true
not looking for something different…I don’t need someone new
…all I want is a little space…a little time
all I need’s a little space…a little time
 
 
 
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Distance

 
 We kept our distance
As best we could
We kept our distance
As well we should
We kept our distance
Because you were strong
We kept our distance
Because it was wrong
It was wrong, I know that’s true
Still, my thoughts always returned to you
Thoughts of wanting, thoughts of lust
Thoughts consumed—thoughts of us
We kept our distance
I kept the fire
We kept our distance
I kept desire
Every now and then, the flames grew higher
But we kept our distance
 
It all seems such a waste
To share desire, yet never taste
Never taste that I know is sweet
Never feel what I know is heat
To feed the fire, yet never touch
To not taste the wine we both crave so much
In time I’m sure the flame will die
But I’ll always question the reasons why
We kept our distance
                                                           E Sam Parker
 
 
 
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Hole In My Heart
E. Sam Parker3
 
There’s a hole in my heart…where the pain comes in
I’m not sure how…I’m not sure when
The pain comes…every now and then
reminding me of you
 
A mother to a son…a bullet to a gun
words that can cut like a knife
Sometimes it’s more the things unsaid
that truly mold your life
 
What makes us care when there’s no one there
when it’s just a state of mind
Like a bad disease takes you to your knees
it can burn the eyes so blind
 
Thick as thieves…as trees to leaves
best friends…but, that was then
Lives sure change…rearrange
as we go from boys to men
 
Hearts and diamonds …boys and girls
Puppy dogs….and little curls
Emotions really rule the world
or so it often seems
 
Reflections of days long past
winning a race…when you finished last
Memories embellish…slow to fast
too bad we feel the need
 
Sometimes I think of things I’ve done
and wonder if I’m the only one
Stories told …just for fun
become lies we hold as true
 
I’m not sure why…I’m not sure when
I think of things every now and then
Thoughts of love and life
and long-gone friends
and the hole in my heart
 
 
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Another Place, Another Time
                                                                          E. Sam Parker3

 Another place, another time
Would you feel the flame, would you taste the wine
Would you take a chance, or just walk away
Would you turn to me, would you want to stay
Would you call me yours, could I call you mine
In another place, in another time
 
If you could start again, a life brand new
Would you start again, with someone new
If you could change it all, what would you do
If you could start again, a life, brand new
Now and then, thoughts come to mind
Of another place, of another time
 
* Thoughts of now and thoughts of then
Thoughts I’ll never share again
Thoughts of you, still come to mind
….of another place ….another time
 
On lonely nights, do you think of when
Do I come to mind, every now and then
Do you ever wonder, do you ever dream
Things aren’t always quite the way they seem
Do the colors fade to shades of gray
Do the memories ever go away
 
Thoughts of now and thoughts of then
Thoughts I’ll never share again
Thoughts of you, still come to mind
….of another place ….another time
 
                                                E. Sam Parker
                                                 
 
 
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Around The Bend
                                  E Sam Parker
 
 
When you think you’ve had enough….and the road seems way too rough
on one thing ……..you can depend
There’s always something new……..…waiting just for you…
….waiting, up around the bend
 
The only thing that stays the same……is the fact that nothing does…
Don’t get hung up on yesterdays……..used to be and was
There’s always something growing……some things well worth  knowing
…there, just up around the bend
 
* Up around the bend
old ends…and new begins
you can make things better…
…you can even make amends…
..around the bend,  up around the bend
 
Memories are needed things……and most should be treasured
But memories should never be …….the stick by which you’re measured
Ya gotta jump in the water ……to see if it’s deep…
Ya gotta clean out the closet…….so you’ll know  what to keep
 
Learn from where you’ve been…….and enjoy where you are going
There’s always something new…some things well worth knowing…
You won’t know where you’ve been…until… you start going…
…around the bend ….up around the bend
*
 
 
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Do You Think of Me
                                      E. Sam Parker3
Do you think of me…like I think of you
Do you ever stop and wonder about we two…
Do you ever stop to think …about back then…
Remembering us…remembering when
You come to mind…every now and then
….and I think of you…yes, I think of you
 
Do you ever stop…and wonder why
Another place and time…another try
Was it me….or was it you
Do you think of me…like I think of you
 
Memories can make it special…..
Memories can make it sad
Embellishing all the good…dismissing the bad
On my mind, in my heart…wondering of you
Do you think of me…..like I think of you
 
Memories….often tend to fade…
Disguising choices and mistakes made
Mistake or choice, a point of view
I made a choice regarding you
I made a choice, and mistake too
Do you think of me…like I think of you
 
                   
 
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Friends And So Much More
                                                                  E. Sam Parker3
 
I think of you every now and then…
…remembering… to way-back when
…when love was easy…and we were friends…
….friends and so much more.
 
We were friends…and life was good
We did it all …because we could….
…because we wanted…not because we should…
…friends…and so much more
 
*Childhood friends…boys to men…
…from girls…to lovely ladies
From spin-the bottle…kiss and tell
To mortgages and babies
 
…We used to dance….and make romance…
we'd laugh howling…at the moon
but that was then……then again……
seems we grew up…way too soon
 
…our lives were full of a thousand whys…
…mystic seas …. Lucy in the skies
now well intentioned…but still white lies…
…friends and so much more.
 
*Childhood friends…boys to men…
…from girls…to lovely ladies
From spin-the bottle…kiss and tell
To mortgages and babies…
 
We were friends…and so much more…
…we were friends…and so much more
 
Yesterdays…separate ways
priorities  cause  shift…
Still I treasure the recalled pleasure
Your friendship such a gift…
 
Once a year…or maybe three
I’ll think of you…and you of me
It’s where my heart will always be…
…friends and so much more.
 
 
 
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Sister 
E. Sam Parker
 
I love you, but I don’t know you
It’s strange to say, but true
I was raised an only child
And then one day, came you
Fifteen years separate us
In ways, so many more
I love you, but I don’t know you
Closed minds, closed hearts, closed doors
 
The same Mother and Father
Yet not the same at all
I was raised very large
You, so very small
They gave us both their everything
Indeed, they gave their all
The same Mother and Father
Yet not the same at all
 
I got out and moved about
You, they held too tight
It wasn’t really wrong
But it really wasn’t right
 
Never a chance to take a stance
Your decisions all were made
Perhaps with good intentions
Your thoughts, your life was swayed
 
When I look back, I have to think
The steepest price was paid
By you, because they loved you
Because your thoughts, your life, was swayed
 
In the name of love, they protected you
But they protected you too much
They kept you out of trouble
They kept you out of touch
 
Choices that should have been given you
Were decisions too often made
In an effort to protect you,
Your thoughts, your life was swayed
 
Somewhere along the road of life
Ties were cut by mother’s knife
Sharp words and silence, like tempered steel
Cut deeper than I thought my heart could feel
 
The truth became much less than known
Our house much less than I called home
We grew apart, we grew alone
We grew with much regret
 
I do regret so much of then
And wish we could go back to when
But that would all be just pretend
And at last I’m through pretending
 
Walls that were built now crumble down
Truth is there, just look around
What once was lost, we’ve finally found
It’s never, never too late
 
We lost so much, and yet I know
With time and love, the bond will grow
There’s still so much I’ll never know
But now, at least we’ll learn
 
I’ll learn of you, and you of me
Thankful for the opportunity
To get to know who you’ve come to be
The Sister in my life
 
It’s never too late
                  
To Rhonda with love
 
 
 
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You Take Me There
E Sam Parker
 
I wish that I could find the words
but words just aren’t enough
you’ve stood right beside me
through the good times and the rough
You know that I’m not perfect…
…and still…that’s enough
you take me there…
you take me there
 
You take me to a special place
I’ve never been before
Where everyday is a special day
and all I want is more
…more time to be beside you
more time to show I care
you take me there
you take me there
 
 You take me to heart
You take me to love
You’ve shown me a world
I’ve only dreamt of
You’ve opened up my eyes
taught me love, taught me to care
You take me there…
You take me there
 
Words cannot do justice
to what I feel inside
You’ve shown me love and passion
You’ve filled my heart with pride
I know that there’s a heaven
…a place true lovers share
…cause you take me there
you take me there
 
 
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Unsaid
E. Sam Parker 
 
I stood looking in the mirror
counting up the wasted years
Thinking back on all the things I should have said
Fighting back the flood of tears
oh, the tears
 
Words of anger spoke so quickly
lasting for so long
Who's to blame, no one remembers
it went beyond right or wrong
it went too long
 
I wish that I could tell you
all the things I never said
So much has gone unspoken
so much has gone unsaid
it goes unsaid
 
Now there's no time left for sorrys
no time left for good-byes
No time left to make up
no time for one more try
wish we could try
 
Did you know how much I love you
did you know how much I care
Did you know deep in my heart
you were always standing there
you stood right there
 
And I wish that I could tell you
all the things I never said
So much has gone unspoken
so much has gone unsaid
it goes unsaid
 
You never cared that much for flowers
but its something I must do
A token remembrance
of the love that I once knew
 
And I wish that I could tell you
all the things I never said
So much has gone unspoken
so much has gone unsaid
it goes unsaid
 
It goes unsaid
 
In Memory of my Father
Ernest S. “Ted” Parker Jr.
So much went unsaid
 
 
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Window Pain
                             esamparker3
 
She stares out her window
at the clouds and the rain
She tries to hide her heartache
tries to hide her pain
This wasn’t how she had pictured it
those many years ago
This wasn’t how she’d dreamt it
how she thought her life would go
Text Box:
 A princess in her younger days
who grew into a queen
She was a wife, she had a family
she shared her castle with her king
The king became a jester, his humor no longer enjoyed
The love became dead weight, and she became annoyed
 
The children grown and on their own
she left her would-be king
For she had dreamt of a better life
she envisioned better things
 
Those days now so long ago
she looks back between the tears
And wonders of the choices made
back so many years
Her prince charming never found her
just another jester now and then
Her heart hardened from the pain of love
from the pain of just pretend
 
Now alone, so all alone
the years all slipping by
She sits staring out her window
looking for the reason why
 
 
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WishIwas
 
Do ya ever stop to wonder, just who writes the songs
that make ya feel so happy-- ya just wanna sing along
or the kind that tell of a love… a love that’s just gone wrong
do ya ever stop and wonder... who writes the songs
 
What gives a person inspiration
where do they get that creativity
when God was passing out the talent
I wonder why he didn’t leave a little bit for me
 
I wanna be a famous rock-n-roll singer
drive around in a big fancy limousine
have lots of pretty women wanting to know me
fellas, you know exactly what I mean
 
But here I am now in my ....fifties
and I’ve lost most of my hair
I’d still love to love the ladies...but they just don’t seem to care
 
An original kind of fella...I think I’m rather smart
all I needed was a break….an open door…a place to start
I could’ve been a big star…if the world gave me half a chance
I’m just a fella who loves music…but never learned to dance.
 
Just a fella who loves music-- two or three bricks... short... of a load
I’m like the Indianapolis Speedway…minus the road
a very peculiar person... or so I’ve been told
a wishIwas  daydreamer...not too famous, just too old
 
              e.samparker
 
 
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The Man Within
                          E. Sam Parker
 
He stares like I should know him, sometimes looking right through me
A reflection of someone I think I am…or hope to be
Though just a mirrored image….perhaps the better part of me
This image in the mirror………the reflection that I see
 
I see his face is wrinkled….and his hair is getting thin
But deep inside I still see that youthful boyish grin
The younger me, I only see….every now and then
Every now and then…when I look into the mirror
 
Now and then he’s my best friend, my one true confidant
Reminding me that what I see….is sometimes what I want
I choose to see the better me…but every now and then
I see deep into the mirror…deep into the man within
 
This man has many secrets…secrets best unshared
Afraid of the reception…and perception if he ever dared
Afraid that if he opened up…he’d lose his every friend
Afraid no one would love him…if they knew the man within
 
Deep inside, he’s a good man…least he really tries to be
But there are certain things about him…he’d prefer no one ever see
The envy, and the bitterness, the deceit and bigotry
All these things he tries to hide…from the man he wants to be
 
We all have many secrets…we all have a secret side
Certain things are better off…locked up deep inside
The deeper, the better….out of public view
With the man inside of me….the one inside of you

 

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Third Cup of Coffee
                                        E Sam Parker
 
It’s my third cup of coffee…and I’ve really got a buzz
started thinking about days gone by…used to be’s and was
if ya ask me why I do it…I’d have to say…because…
it’s my third cup of coffee
 
It’s my third cup of coffee…it doesn’t need to make much sense
Not everything has to be so deep…it doesn’t have to be intense
Sometimes you wanna go out there…and just straddle the fence
with that third cup of coffee
 
* It doesn’t always have to be about you or me
sometimes nothing….is just fine
Sometimes all you should worry about….
…is cream and sugar…with or without
…and that third cup of coffee….yeah, that third cup of coffee…..
that’s enough
 
It’s my third cup of coffee….taking time to breathe
I’ve got nothing underneath my hat….got nothing up my sleeve
I don’t really have a position….it doesn’t matter what I believe
…I’ve got my third cup of coffee…I’m alright
…I’ve got my third cup of coffee…and I’m alright
 
*
 
 
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Remembering
 
Remembering a moment
A very special time
I was in your heart
You were so in mine
Our bodies seemed a perfect fit
Beyond verse and rhyme
Remembering a moment
A very special time
 
You touched me, how you touched me
I thank you for your touch
Touching, without words
Yet saying oh so much
              e sam parker            

 

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Blink, Blink, Gone 
                 
                                                                                                 
She’s gone,
the little girl I held so gently in my arms
Gone, the fragile child and her newborn baby charms
Gone, the heartfelt smile as you first learned how to walk
Gone, that magic moment when you first learned how to talk
Gone now are Mickey Mouse, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus
Gone, the thousand questions of who, and why, and cause
Gone, the school recitals, full of proud applause
blink, blink,
Gone
Gone too those days of discovering boys
giving up the childish toys
Music fads I just called noise
blink, blink,
Gone
It’s sad those days have all passed by
and yet when I look into your eyes
I still see the love and sweet surprise
reflection now in a woman’s eyes
still daddy’s little girl
I say sad but really, that’s not true
I’ve loved every moment of life with you
I treasure both the old and new,
where we’ve been, and where you’re going
Going, going, but not really gone
A different phase, but love goes on
blink, blink,
The love goes on
                                 E. Sam Parker
Dedicated to my loving daughter,
Tina Louise Parker

 

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Dreams and Recollections
 
Dreams and recollections of days, and loves gone by
Is it best to remember
or best not to even try
 
Do you let it go, not block the flow
let memories float downstream
Or do you hold on tight, embrace the night
and hope to God you dream
 
Dreams and recollections often blessing, sometimes curse
recalling, or forgetting, which one is really worse
Remembering all the nows and thens
the use to be’s and could have beens
Once called lovers, now just friends…
It’s all a state of mind
 
A heavy sigh, a tear stained eye, a thought of long ago
A look towards the future, planted seeds begin to grow
You can’t go back, and that’s a fact
no matter how you try
Dreams and recollections of days, and loves gone by
 
                                                                                 e. sam parker3
 
 
 
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Domestic Bliss
                                  E Sam Parker
 
She said “I Do” and so she has
for oh so many years
The prim and proper housewife
she hides so many tears
She lives the life of loving wife
though often feeling more like maid
She cooks, she cleans, she does everything
and ponders the life she’s made
She married for love, a partnership
funny how things change
The sharing and the caring, somehow now, rearranged
She chose this life, to be his wife
he was kind and understanding
Now, always at work…and always a jerk
he’s become so damn demanding
Where did he go, she’d liked to know
a true Jekyl and Mr Hyde
Feeling much like an amusement
an occasional carnival ride
She looks around his castle, she’s the Queen of all of this
she gets to wash his clothes and wipe his nose
The Queen of Domestic Bliss
 
 
 
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  Text Box:
FURNITURE
 e.sam parker3
 
Do you view me as an object
…a dresser or a shelf
Can you see me as a person
…with worth, a sense of self
Am I a trophy or a trinket
a prized possession, a keepsake
Something you choose to
play with
A toy while you’re awake

 

 

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Every Time (You Come To Mind)
                                                         E. Sam Parker
 
I still think of you every now and then…
Thoughts of long ago…of way back when
It warms my heart…deep within
…every time you come to mind
 
There’s a special place I keep you in
Reserved for lovers, reserved for friends
The line between them fades and blends
…every time you come to mind
 
Every time you come to mind…
My heart…stops……for a moment
My world…….stops…for a moment
Every time…you come to mind
 
The world keeps right on turning
And life’s lessons I keep learning
And I still deal with the yearning
…every time …you come to mind
 
 
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Somewhere Down the Road
 
 
Text Box:
Somewhere down the road
I’ll find what I am after
I’ll embrace the chase
slow down the pace
pausing for the laughter 
I’ll take in the view
enjoying old and new
and appreciate the years
The blood and sweat
and not forget
the endless flow of tears
Somewhere down the road
countless miles ahead
no more second thoughts
of what I should have done instead
I’ll find true balance
and lasting peace
all my worrying will finally cease
I’ll lay down my heavy load
somewhere down the road
                                                      e. sam parker

 

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Not Sure I’d Want To Try
                                           E Sam Parker
 
He wonders what she’d think
 wonders what she’d do
If she ever found out
 if she ever knew
She’s been his only lover
well, that’s not entirely true
He wonders what she’d think
wonders what she’d do
 
If before I met you
should it matter what I did
The lost and found, passed around
antics of a kid
If I dared, if I shared
would you prefer I’d kept it hid
I wonder what you’d really think
if you knew just what I did
 
Moments from the past…return…now and then
recalling precious moments …of lovers and of friends
Feelings we once shared…may never come again
but some moments from the past…return…now and then
 
I can’t change who I was
not sure I’d want to try
Is not telling you the whole truth
really living with a lie
Some things I’ve done, for love or fun
are not a part of you and I
I can’t change who I was
I’m not sure I’d want to try
 
 
 
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Lady In The Corner
                                     E Sam Parker
                           
She’s a lady in the corner
and she’s not sure what to do
Cling to what she has
or reach for something new
She’s always been a lady
but she’s wanting so much more
She wants to jump out of the window
run out of the door
For now, she’s in the corner
with a grip upon the floor
She’s a lady in the corner
but she’s wanting so much more
 
 
 
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I’m Not The Man
                              E. Sam Parker  
I’m not the man I used to be
the reason, just because
I’m not the man I used to be
perhaps, I never was
I remember being faster, stronger
so smooth, so debonair
I remember being a ladies man
I remember having hair
I recall being invincible
a true man among men
Remembering things I never did
and things I’ll never do again
Funny how the years add up
as we hurry into slow
We wonder where the good times went
where did those good times go
Recalling friends both now and then
and how they came to change
Defying explanation
they went from close to strange
How can that be, I’m the same ole me
I’m just the way I was
But I’m not the man I used to be
 perhaps, I never was
 
 
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Ink Spots
E. Sam Parker

 Tattoos are merely ink spots
made by tiny little pricks
These little pricks
don’t really hurt much
But they sure get your attention
 Hmmm...

 

 

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Bullet On The Table 
                            E. Sam Parker
 
There’s a bullet on the table
A gun is in his hand
He’s had all that he can handle
Much more than he can stand
He’s thinking about the moment
Form-u-lating his plan
For the bullet on the table
For the gun that’s in his hand
 
Is this to be…. how it all will end
Alone without ….alone within
Without a lover ….without a friend
Starring at the bullet on the table
 
High expectations
Stressed out to the max
It’s not ability
But confidence he lacks
His train has pulled out
And he’s laid down on the tracks
Starring at the bullet on the table
 
Is this to be…. how it all will end
Alone without ….alone within
Without a lover ….without a friend
Starring at the bullet on the table
 
We’ve all held the bullet
We’ve all taken aim
Some aim to please…
Some just point the blame
Some spend their whole life
Caught up in the game
Starring at the bullet on the table
 
Don’t let this be…. how it all will end
Alone without ….alone within
Without a lover ….without a friend
Starring at the bullet on the table
Starring at the bullet on the table
Starring at the bullet on the table
 
 
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Click
 
One out of six—click, one out of five
One of us won’t leave this table alive
One of us won’t have to worry no more
Click, sigh, one out of four
 
I can’t recall just why we are here
A case of honor, a case of beer
We neither one blink, we show no fear
I just can’t recall why we are here
 
There’s one bullet to contend with
Did I dare you or you dare me
Only one bullet—click,
Now, one chance in three
 
One chance in three—is it you or me
If I quit now, what would you do
I don’t want to play—don’t want to die today
Click, …one chance in two
 
Oh my God, we’ve taken this to the edge
We’re on top of the world, standing out on the ledge
With one more pull, our fate will be known
One will walk away—one mind will be blown
This is silly, it’s taken on a life of its own…
Click
                                    E. Sam Parker3
 
 
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Coffee Cup
          E Sam Parker
 
 
Staring in a coffee cup…caught up in a dream
watching my life swirl by…or perhaps it’s just the cream
There’s more to life than meets the eye…
…I think of when’s…I think of why’s…
staring in a coffee cup…caught up in a dream
 
What ifs and maybes fill my plate…
…can’t help but think a bit too late
its not sour grapes………
but spilt milk comes to mind
Its been so long since I called home….
…wonder if they still think how much I’ve grown
things sure look different out on your own
Staring in a coffee cup…caught up in a dream
 
You can stare at your reflection…
or look through the bottom of the cup
wonder which way is right…wonder which end is up
Sometimes in total silence…you can hear the loudest scream…
Staring in my coffee cup…caught up in a dream
 
You can wonder where you’re going…
wonder where you’ve been
wonder if there’s reason to go that way again
contemplate for hours forgotten names…remembered friends
…ask the waitress for the specials…see just what she recommends
it’s all so very simple…yet never what it seems
staring in a coffee cup...caught up in a dream

 

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Dirty Old Man
              E. Sam Parker
Every now and then…I still think back to when
…and it puts a smile on my face
A real rock-n-roller…a midnight stroller
…I ran a much faster race
Now I don’t run quite so fast…my motor's slowed…and I’m low on gas
Eeeyyee-ballin ladies as they walk past
…and think of things I used to do
…I’m just a dirty old man…dirty old man
 
I still do some drinkin’ …eyeballin and winkin
I love long legs and short, short skirts
Blondes, brunettes and redheads……tenny bops and dead-heads
…trashy women who love to flirt
I may not be all that I used to be…
But I damn sure enjoy my fantasies…I know there’s lots of guys just like me
I’m just a dirty old man……
 
* I’m a dirty old man…and that’s okay
…I wouldn’t want it any other way
I still love the ladies…love to have a good time
If not in person…at least in my mind
 
Well, my hair’s getting thinner…n- I don’t miss many dinners
… I can’t stay up and party all night
Can’t go from dusk till dawn…but don’t get me wrong
…I’ll go until I get you right
You can think what you want…think what you will
Call me an old man…call me over the hill
I still like to have a real good time
…if not in person…at least in my mind
I’m just a dirty old man…….just a dirty old man
 
 Just a dirty old man…doing the best I can
 
 
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SECRETS
         E. Sam Parker
 
We all have secrets
things better off not shared
Things that would alter friendships
if you ever dared
It’s not that you’re so different
some things are better off not shared
Some secrets are for keeping
some should not be shared
 
Not really on the dark side
but surely shades of gray
You wonder if  they’d really care
would they turn away
If you ever shared your secrets
what would they really say
Some secrets are for keeping
regardless of what they say
 
Oh you can tell me, it’s okay,
after all, I’m your best friend
If you want to feel without
simply let them feel within
 
Some secrets are for Keeping
accept it and move on
Some secrets are for keeping
and some make friendships…
gone
 
 
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The Man Down The Hall
                                                         E Sam Parker
 
He must have had his reasons…
…just didn’t want to share
I’m sure there were people he could’ve talked to
some agency out there
He was always…just around…
…but never really there…
…that odd little man…the man down the hall
 
Paper says his name was Jimmy…
…hmm, I always called him Fred
Sometimes he would speak…
I can’t recall a word he said
…there was always something…I needed to do instead…
…of talking to the man…the man down the hall
 
Who would have ever thought
surely no one could foresee
the paper said the man was dead
…they found a note that just said free
I wonder what that meant…I wonder indeed
about the man……the man down the hall
 
They say that he had lived here for almost seven years
pictured with a moustache …I always thought he had a beard
…an odd little man…that no one really feared
I wonder why he did it...
…the man down the hall
 
Damn – the forecast calls for rain…and I just washed my car
I see they finally signed that pitcher…a real true superstar
The market’s up…well that’s good news…
…I thought for sure it’d fall
Too bad about old Fred……
…the man down the hall
 
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YOU 
E Sam Parker
(For My Father)
 
 
It doesn’t seem to matter where I am…or what I do
I’m forever drawn to the loving thought of you
You’re with me morning, noon and night…indeed, the whole day through
…I’m caught up in the memory…the memory of you
…you
 
Too much to understand…too much to comprehend
so much more than inspiration…so much more than just a friend
somewhere down the road…I hope I see your face again
I’m caught up in your memory…your memory…till then…
I’m caught up in the memory…the memory of you
…you
 
You changed my way of thinking…you opened up my eyes
Still a thousand questions….and tear-stained alibis
We may never know the reasons…we may never know the whys
A heart that doesn’t love…is a heart that surely dies
…with the memory of you…you
…the memory of you
 
For too many years I let you go…now, with deep regret
Lost moments, precious moments…forever gone…and yet
I treasure all the memories…and vow never to forget
Although I knew you all that time…I’m glad we finally met
…I’m thankful for the memories...
…my memories of you
 
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If You Only Knew Me
 
 
If you only knew me…wonder what you’d think
wonder if you’d like me…or pour me down the sink
Would I be the kind of person…that you’ve been looking for
or would you always be searching…for just a little more
…if you only knew me
 
Could I make you happy…morning, noon and night
would I be the image in your mind…when we turned off the light
Would you be glad to see me…embracing the sunrise
could I hold your interest…intrigued by sweet surprise
…if you only knew me
 
*If…you only knew me…if I really knew you
could we really be a couple…could we really be two
…if you only knew me……if I only knew you
 
First impressions…shared confessions…crossing over the line
would you share your feelings…would you honor mine
If I made the first move…would you let me in
Could you care…would you dare…I wonder what you’d do…
…if you only knew me...if I only knew you
 
*If…you only knew me…if I really knew you
could we really be a couple…could we really be two
…if you only knew me……if I only knew you
 
**One hundred million questions…
…flashing through my mind
…seeking out answers…so very hard to find
countless possibilities…wonder what you’d do…
…if you only knew me……if I only knew you
 
e. sam parker3
 
 
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Shades of Gray
              e sam parker
 
It’s not always so simple….sad to say…but true
Sometimes the right choice….depends on right for you
Sometimes….there’s no direction….you have to choose your own way
Sometimes …all you have…are shades of gray
 
Shades of gray….blur the edges…..that blend from black to white
They cover up the difference between wrong and right
Stop and go …yes and no…often fade clear out of sight
…and all that’s left…are shades of gray
 
Shades of gray…..shades of gray….
All that’s left…are shades of gray
 
Liars and lovers….look the same beneath the covers
But in the morning light……..true colors start to show
Passion Red goes to your head…as true blue fades away
…and all that’s left……..are shades of gray
 
Shades of gray…..shades of gray….
All that’s left…are shades of gray
 
Shades of gray….blur the edges…..that blend from black to white
They cover up the difference between wrong and right
Stop and go …yes and no…often fade clear out of sight
…and all that’s left…are shades of gray
 
…all that’s left….are shades of gray
 
 
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Let It Go
 
Caught up in tug of war….remembering childhood things
Can’t seem to find the peace of mind…adulthood’s supposed to bring
I still try to slay the dragons…I still try to scale the wall
I still want to be the hero………standing 10 feet tall
I need to let it go………need to let it go
 
I need to let go of the demons…need to let go of the pain
Need to step into the sunshine…come in from rain
Need to change out of my wet clothes…put on something dry
Stop searching for reasons…stop looking for whys
I need to let it go………need to let it go
 
Let it go….if it’s not helping…let it go the best you can
Some things in this life …we’ll never understand
Some times you’ve just got to …let it go
 
We’ve all got our closets….our crosses to bear
We’ve all got dark secrets…we’ve all got our share
We’ve all got questions…a thousand times asked
Sometimes the best answer…is to leave it in the past
Let it go……just let it go
 
e.samparker

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My Mind
 
There’s a place I often go….the path to which, few people know
sometimes, I’m not so sure… I know myself
A secret place…of space… and time
it’s not so much…but it’s all mine
it’s the one thing I don’t owe to someone else
my mind
 
When all else fades to shades of gray
it’s where I dance the night away
sometimes I know the words…sometimes I just hum
No one else can come inside…
it’s where my inner thoughts reside
seldom shared they often hide
deep within my mind
my mind
 
Do you wonder what I’m thinking
I wonder what you’re thinking too
Ain’t it nice to have a secret
that’s only known by you
 
I can love…and I can hate
fantasize, anticipate
whatever I need……….I’ve got
I can win…I can lose
I can bleed and I can bruise
it’s the only place I can be all that I’m not
my mind
 
Sometimes dark…and sometimes distant
I can be a bit resistant
I know what I like…and then, don’t know a thing
Always searching for peace of mind
not really sure just where to find
..it comes…and goes
much like the night
 
Do you wonder what I’m thinking…
I wonder what you’re thinking too
Ain’t it nice to have a secret
that’s only known by you
in a world of contradiction
facing mental crucifixion
I don’t have a hammer…but own plenty of nails
 
                                e.samparker
 
 
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Its Been Good
                      e.samparker
 
As I look back upon my days……I’ve enjoyed the many ways
…my life has gone from there…to here
Although I don’t know where its going…I’ve truly enjoyed growing
…and I’d like to make this one point…very clear
..Its been good……life’s been good
…through the ups…and through the downs
…through the squares…and pass arounds…
through the lost…and through the founds
…life’s been good……It’s been good
 
It hasn’t always been a piece of cake…
…sometimes hurry …sometimes  wait
sometimes…it been heartache…and sometimes pain…
Sometimes my fingers have been burned…
…sometimes hard lessons have been learned
but you know…I’d do it all again…
It’s been good…yes,…its been good
 
Its been good…not always great
Sometimes early …sometimes late
…Sometimes luck…sometimes fate…
but always times…oh what times
 
I’ve learned a little…forgot a lot
…so very thankful for all I’ve got
enjoyed the haves…and the have nots
yes, its been good…its been good
 
Through the thick…and through the thin
sometimes you lose…sometimes you win
you find a lover…you find a friend
you find a reason
Things keep changing everyday…
…some debts you owe...some, you just pay
We change faces along the way…just like the seasons
 
Through love and life… till death…
I choose to cherish every breath…
…and try to live my life…the way I feel I should
treat others with respect….now and then stop…to reflect
thankful for life's many blessings…I tell ya…its been good
 
                            
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I Haven’t Got There Yet            
 
There are days when I remember
things I need just to forget
I’m really getting better
but I haven’t got there yet
I haven’t got there yet
lord knows how hard I’ve tried
When I said I’d gotten over you
I lied
 
We shared a special kind of love
for many, many years
But love became a kind of game
too often masked in tears
You indeed controlled the strings
like no one I’d ever met
I’m trying hard to get over you
but I haven’t got there yet
 
You’re not that easy to forget
lord knows how I’ve tried
I used to really love you
but that love has long since died
I try to turn the other cheek
to forgive and to forget
I’m doing so much better
But I haven’t got there yet
 
You danced on my emotions
like a ship upon the ocean
Your mood changing with the tide
Like a fool I let you
now I can’t forget you
God knows how much I’ve tried
The games we played
mistakes we made
deep cuts and true regret
I’m doing so much better
I just haven’t got there yet
 
 e sam parker
 
 
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Hands of Time  
 
            E. Sam Parker
 
We don't see eye to eye
but still see heart to heart
Our lives are different now
we've drifted far apart
 
You don't seem to understand me
and I say the same of you
we talk in circles now
afraid to speak the truth
 
You were my guiding light
you taught me right from wrong
A caring and gentle man
never weak, always strong
 
You've always been my hero
though never a superman
Your silent way of loving
took me years to understand

Now I wish I could turn back the hands of time
To when I was your best friend
and you dear Dad were mine
Our lives are oh so different now
the truth, so hard to find
How I wish I could turn back
Turn back the hands of time
 
You seldom said I love you
though I could see it in your eyes
A man of dreams
of thoughts and things
who found peace in compromise
 
The years have changed us both
but the feeling's still remain
It's so hard to see the Son
when you're caught up in the rain
 
In memory of my Dad
...and the stormy weather
 
   
 
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In The Dark of Night
 
 
For a second…she was back there...and her world, …again at peace
The fussing and the fighting… magically had ceased
For a moment…it was as if… all was really right
…and then, just as quickly, …it vanished with the light –
it all vanished with the light
A small lamp on the nightstand…… but still enough to see
This wasn’t what she wanted……or where she wished to be
 
In the dark of the night… we try so very hard to see
The person we dream of…our fantasy
It’s your own special place… when you just imagine the face…
In the dark…of the night
In the dark of the night
 
In the dark of night…wrong or right… is just a state of mind
So much easier to just pretend… love is really blind
With eyes wide shut………and a wishful heart
…we prefer…to dim the light
Things look so much better…… in the dark of the night
 
In the light of day…  we turn away – some, turn the other cheek
The truth, so very hard to find… when the voice…chooses not to speak
We play the game…it’s such a shame…losing sight of wrong and right
Preferring to enjoy the view...seen in the dark of night
 
                                                e sam parker
 

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Solitude

 Solitude ain’t lonely, it’s just alone
No need for company, no need for phone

No need for acceptance, no need to fit in
No need for the games, when you have no need to win
 
Solitude ain’t lonely, when you just need some air
It doesn’t mean you’re not friendly,
It doesn’t mean you don’t care
It’s a private little journey that no one else can share
Solitude ain’t lonely
When you choose to go there
 
                          E. Sam Parker

                             

 

 

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Special Moment
 
I did not see it coming
I guess no one really could
They both seemed so very happy
Everything seemed as it should
 
Every detail well attended
I’s were dotted, T’s were crossed
It was a moment to remember
A total disregard for cost
 
All the families had gathered
Sitting to the left and right
It was a beautiful occasion
A prenuptial delight
 
They stood before the alter
The room was all a glow
She said yes, till death do us part
He said, sorry, no
                                                                                                                                              E. Sam Parker

 

 

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What Then

 When the love stops, what then
When you’ve reached the point
You can no longer pretend
When the love of your life
is no more than a friend,
what then
 
When the dreams fade
When the colors all turn gray
When you mumble and stumble for the
right words to say
When daydreams become your only way out
When you're so full of resentment,
so full of self-doubt
What then
   
 
Where do you go…
What do you say
When right before your eyes
You realize it’s all gone astray
It’s all gone astray
Come apart at the seams
A pocket full of empty promises
And a heart full of broken dreams
What then
 
 
Turn the page
Make a choice
Find a new song
Find yourself a new voice
Take control and patch the hole where your dreams were falling through
A brand new start can mend a broken heart
It’s true………It’s up to you…
 
E. Sam Parker
 
 
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Every Now And Then
 
He’s standing on the edge…looking over the side
wondering what his next move should be
standing on the edge, looking over the side
hoping that no one can see
He’s lost and confused…and he feels so abused 
but he doesn’t want to make a fuss
He’s any man, he’ every man…
He’s anything but a superman,
He could easily be…any one of us
 
He does all that he can to live life as he should
He believes in the golden rule….believes in doing good
He believes that what goes around…truly comes around
…and lord, here it comes a-gain
He’s any man…he’s every man
At least… every now and then
 
 *Any one of us…could be out there on the ledge…looking over the side
Any one of us…could be in his shoes…longing for a place to hide
One roll of the dice, one spin of the wheel…one bad shuffle, one bad deal
Any man…every man…knows how it feels…
at least…every now and then
 
We all get those feelings now and then
Sometimes from business, a lover or friend
No matter what you say or do…you just can’t win
At least… that’s the way it seems…………every now and then
 
It’s a good thing every day the sun comes up
it gives us another chance to fill our cup
another chance to clean our plate
another chance to erase our slate
Every single day is a day brand new…with the hope of starting again
We all need a second chance…at least every now and then
 
*Any one of us…could be out there on the ledge…looking over the side
Any one of us…could be in his shoes…longing for a place to hide
One roll of the dice, one spin of the wheel…one bad shuffle, one bad deal
Any man…every man…knows how it feels…
at least…every now and then
                                                  E. Sam Parker
 
 
 
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Thoughts of You
                                                  esamparker
 
 
Without warning, there you are—on my mind again
Thoughts of you as lover—memories of you as friend
 
Some thoughts are for sharing, and some, better kept within
Thoughts of you as lover—memories of you as friend
 
 
How we’re remembered, if we’re remembered
Those we choose to forget
Memories tethered to treasured times
Memories anchored to regret
 
Recollections, deep reflections surface now and then
Thoughts of you as lover—memories of you as friend
 
                       
 
 
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Sorry
 
On the desk lay a piece of paper
and an old ball-point pen
He would sit and stare at them for hours
Well, every now and then
He’d stare right through the paper
and the one word written there
Sorry was the word,
sorry was the stare
 
He often thought he’d found the words,
thought he knew just what to say
Then he’d sit down at the desk
and the words would fly away
Putting down the pen and paper,
tomorrow’s another day
He’d sit staring at the one word
that he knew he had to say.
 
Sorry was the only word
that ever came to mind
He was sorry, truly sorry
but simply could not find the time
No time to ponder
just the right words to say
He’d think a bit, he’d get back to it,
tomorrow’s another day
 
Another day came and went,
many, many times
The church bells in the distance
rang a haunting chime
Now too late to make amends,
too late, all out of time
He sat staring at the one word
now forever on his mind
Sorry.
                                                E. Sam Parker3
 
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Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda Been
                                            E. Sam Parker3
 
Woulda, coulda, shoulda beens…
Invade my thoughts now and then
Things I did…or wish I’d done
…some life changing, some…just fun
Memories of lovers and of old friends
And those woulda, coulda, shoulda beens
 
Second guessing is itself a game
…reliving choices, diverting blame
Embellishing moments, enhancing tales
Small ponds to lakes, minnows to whales
 
Not sure why I feel the need
To open wounds and let them bleed
Rethink thoughts best left alone
Dig up skeletons and rattle bones
 
Funny how we recall life
A pin-prick now a bowie knife
A second-glance, a lover’s stare
Truth be told, no one cares
 
Those thoughts belong back in the past
Who cares if you finished first or last
Now is the only time to track
Nothing gained by looking back
Still, we go there…now and then
To those woulda, coulda, shoulda beens
 
 
 
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Like It Was yesterday
 
The touch – your embrace
The look upon your face
I remember…like it was yesterday
 
Things we used to do
The way it all seemed brand new
I remember…like it was yesterday
 
Like it was yesterday
Your memory warms my heart
Like it was yesterday
Though miles and miles apart
I remember
I remember…like it was yesterday
 
Days, months, years, tears
They come, they go, they flow
The thought of you stays on mind
I only hope you know
I remember…like it was yesterday
Like it was yesterday
I remember
 
esamparker3
 
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Direction
 
If I told you—If I dared to, I wonder what you’d say
Would you embrace me, could you face me…
…or would you turn and walk away
Some things are better left unknown
Some sides are better never shown
Some rocks are better never thrown
Glass houses—best left empty
 
Paths that cross…and paths that bend
Some paths never cross again
We discard lovers…we forget friends
As we move on down the road
 
Some roads are made to travel fast
Some with caution, you dare not pass
Some built with pride and made to last
Still others seldom taken
 
We choose our path, though some say no
We choose to stop, we choose to go
We set the speed from fast to slow
But more importantly, direction
 
E Sam Parker
 
 
 
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Prisoner of Love

 

She’s faithful and committed
though she sometimes wonders why
But she’d never raise the issue
least not eye to eye
Her wings were clipped
her freedom snipped,
he’s a most possessive man
She loves him, she truly loves him
but he’s so hard to understand
She wants to love him with all her heart
but he just won’t let her in
She stays on call…just down the hall
summoned, now and then
It’s not that he doesn’t love her
he loves as best he can
He was raised to show no weakness
he was raised to be a man
A man, just like his father
and his father before that
A man shows no real emotion
 problems, kept beneath his hat
It was how he had always been
she thought, once married, he’d let her in
He’d started to, now and then
but remembered his upbringing
She would settle for his devotion
it was what he had to give
It wasn’t how she wanted it
but it was how she chose to live
A prisoner in a sense
her hands, tied behind her tight
He’d probably never ever change
but she hoped someday, he might
…she hoped someday he might
 
                                                       E Sam Parker
 
 
 
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DAD
E. Sam Parker
 I miss you Dad, the times we had
…and the times we never shared
Waters raged beneath our bridge, 
still I knew how much you cared
Life got complicated, 
communication all but ceased
We both had our demons
you, the larger beast
Lines in the sand, we both took stands
both in places we belong
Sadly separated, 
two rights that were so wrong
Opportunities passed us by
I’ll never truly know just why
Still to this day, sometimes I cry
over answers I’ll never know
God, damn pride for all it’s worth
lessons taught from day of birth
Lines we drew, walls we built
years of wondering, pondering guilt
Family ties, worn like a noose
strangling those who did not cut loose
Cut loose suggests that one was free
that wasn’t true, least not for me
I could not escape the guilt and pain
it filled my heart, it burnt my brain
It spread like poison, crippling the soul
unnoticed by most, it took its toll
I’ve cried myself beyond the tears
and learned to live with the pain
There are no answers to be had
only redirecting blame
But blame is not the issue
nor has it ever been
Dad, you are the one place
I can never go again
I miss you Dad, the times we had
and the times we never shared
the years we should have shared
I truly miss you Dad

 

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Back of the Bus
   
When I was young,
it’s where we’d go
so the driver couldn’t see
Thinking we were cool
acting a fool…
I was young, white, and free
 
I didn’t know of segregation
I couldn’t understand the fuss
How could blacks complain
about the back end of the bus
 
I still can’t truly comprehend
Just how it was for blacks back then
Separate bathrooms, separate bars,
Food served out of separate jars
Separate counters, separate schools
Hatred born and bred by fools
 
My father’s father, his father too
Sadly shared this point of view
They taught their daughters and their sons
That whites were indeed the chosen ones
 
Ignorance breeds ignorance
And that all stops here  
I won’t be a part of the ignorance and fear
Some sit back and enjoy the ride
While others gladly steer
But that bus is no longer welcomed
No, that bus no longer stops here

E. Sam Parker
 

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In The Dark
         E. Sam Parker
It’s cold and dark inside my heart
darker still inside my mind
I go to places I can’t share
places others never find
A hateful place, a scary place
full of regret, full of despair
The other side of who I am
lives a man I dare not share
A black hole deep inside my soul
a journey without choice
The demon screams in silent rage
I am driven by the voice
 
Let me out, let me go
God, how did I get here
I’ve asked the question a thousand times
the answer, never clear
 
Some doors we do not open
some boxes, best kept closed
There are things about our lives
better no one ever knows
We all have a dark place
we all have another side
Most seem to control it
most take it all in stride

Wish I were so lucky
truth is, I have no control
It takes me when it wants me
pulling me deep into the hole
Leaving me alone in the dark

 

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Different
           E. Sam Parker

 
We’re not the same – not even close
Perhaps that is what I enjoy most
Eye-to-eye and heart-to-heart
And yet so different right from the start
Different tastes and different styles
Different thoughts, yet, all the while…
Loving
 
It makes no sense, we both agree
Me loving you, you loving me
And yet it’s right where we both should be
It’s where we both belong
Loving

 

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My Sun
  E. Sam Parker
 
My daughter looked up and asked me
Her question caught me by surprise
I could see she needed an answer
From the want within her eyes, 
 
She asked,
Do you ever regret never having a son
Do you ever wish I was a boy
Do you ever wish I was your son
 
My heart sank for a moment
Then warmed with such a glow
I smiled and said, my daughter
There is something you should know
 
You are my sun, my moon and stars
You’re the brightest light I see
You are the best thing in my life
You’re everything to me
 
Yes, I wanted a little boy
But God gave us so much more
He gave us a special daughter
To love and to adore
 
You are my Sun, and like the sun
You are at the center of my world
I thank God each and every day
That he gave me a little girl
 
You truly are my Sun
 
For the Sun in my life, my daughter,
Tina Louise parker

 

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Her Hand
     E. Sam Parker3
 
  She placed her hand in mine
and I began to melt
A sensation like no other
like nothing ever felt
My heart, warmed with every beat  
My life, somehow now complete
 
 Words can not do justice
Nor can I express
The joy, the love, the emotion
Her life, my happiness
 
 
Her Mother and I made her
But she made our lives complete
Nothing ever tasted
Could ever be so sweet

 

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Text Box:
M E N
E. Sam Parker3
 
Men don’t share
We don’t dare
Why, because we’re Men
It would be a sign of vulnerability
If we let someone else in
 
Men don’t share
Because we’re Men
We suck it up
We keep it in
We stand alone
Or at least pretend
Why, because we’re Men
 Foolish, foolish, men
 

 

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She Opened Up The Door
                                   E. Sam Parker3
 
She opened up the door and I stepped in
A place I’d often dreamt of, but never ever been
No, not as a lover, but as a very special friend
She opened up the door and I stepped in
 
She looked within and beyond herself--A joy for me to see
A woman, lovely woman, realizing her possibilities
Like a feather in the wind, she rose high above the breeze
Setting sail in deep blue waters, drifting through unchartered seas
 
I drank her like a fine red wine, savoring every drop
Engrossed in her reflections, hoping they would never stop
Her words filled my heart and filled my mind, right to the top
I drank her like a fine wine, savoring every drop
 
Few understand real sharing; it’s a road not many know
The openness, the caring…the willingness to grow
The vulnerability of daring…to let your feelings show
To care enough to share…to bask in inner glow
 
She opened up the door and she opened up my mind
To feel, to hear, to see, things I thought I’d never find
She opened up my heart in ways I simply can’t explain
The love and the laughter, the heartache and the pain
 
She opened up the door

               

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Text Box:  Trying
        
When my daddy said goodbye
it made my mommy cry
She started crying again yesterday
Two men came to the door
I’d never seen those uniforms before
They weren’t like the one daddy wore
when he went away
 
Mommy sent me out to play
And when the two men drove away
Mommy looked like she’d been crying
I’m not sure what was wrong
Mommy said we must be strong
I’m not sure why, but for Mommy
I’m trying
                         
                                                                   esamparker3
 

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T U R N S
     esamparker3

There are turns that we make
Directions we take
And detours along the way
Some roads are narrow
Some straight as an arrow
And some only go one way
 
Some enjoy travel
Some truly unravel
Some simply haven’t a clue
Some like to steer
Some sit in the rear
While others just take in the view
 
I like to drive
I feel so alive
When I’m behind the wheel
I choose my direction
Make my selection
It’s then that I truly feel real
 
I don’t follow well
You can probably tell
A lesson I chose not to learn
I don’t mind taking chances
Enjoy the fire dances
And yes, I’m occasionally burned
 
When you dance in the fire
The flames get much higher
I gain pleasure when on the hot seat
I enjoy the race
Enjoy the fast pace
I’m happiest when I compete
 
I don’t need to beat you
My opponent is me
A very good lesson to learn
I give it my best
That’s my only test
The proof, the direction I turn

esamparker3

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